Gary Ross Dahl

Gary Ross Dahl, creator of the pet rock, has died.


There will be a stationary, silent memorial service for Mr. Dahl at the Mall in DC, with music by the Petroglyphs. He will be lying in a state of granite. In lieu of flowers, contributions to the Organization for the Abolishment of Rock Trundling are preferred. Additionally, because large crowds are expected, we ask that you leave your passive protection at home. Those rocks who feel they have been mis-climbed or abused in any way, may express their grievances to the National Committee for the Maintenance of Direct Route-lines, which has its headquarters here in DC next to the Hard Rock Café. As an added celebration of Mr. Dahl’s contribution, the Petroglyphs will also be performing there tomorrow night from 10 to closing.


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